April 26, 2020

And if I don’t make it known that I loved you all along.  Just like sunny days we ignore.

Last week of classes.  Students walking around in the sunshine.  Professors teaching one last lesson, one last meeting, one last question for the exam.  Late night cram sessions at Ponder Coffee.  A full patio in front of the deli.  The sunshine greeting those that stayed up all night studying.  This is how the last week of April is supposed to be.

We have zoom classes now.  We have social distancing so there are no students playing catch across the road on Main Street.  We have no track and field to watch.  No lacrosse season.  No spring football game.  We have no graduation prep, no reservations for families to rock a Max and Emily’s grilled cheese one last time.  No photos with your roommates.  No engagement surprises after you receive your diploma.  

It’s okay.  It’s okay that I’m not okay.  It’s okay that you’re not okay.  It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done.  We have each other.  We protected each other in the only way we knew how to.  To sacrifice yourself for someone else.  A stranger, a loved one.  The history books will write of how the world came together.  They won’t write about you, they won’t write about me.  They will write about how 7 billion people said to hell with the consequences, let’s try, try, to save ourselves from ourselves.  

People said money doesn’t matter, life matters.  They said it knowing that they might never recover.  It’s going to be years before I recover.  So what.  It’s just money.  Life matters more.  Love matters more.  To me, you matter more.

Today’s quote comes from my friend Raine.  He and his friend would be fun to see downtown.  I’m gonna put them on a future wish list.

You realize that sometimes you're just not okay