September 11, 2020

A man in the crowd says "we can’t hear you"......."I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you."  -President Bush

Business first, then thoughts.  We will have broccoli cheese soup today until supplies run out.  Cup size portions only.  Come down and rock a classic that hasn’t been here since March…

Now thoughts.  I was making my friend Paul a cappuccino, Timmy was finishing up talking with the morning coffee crew.  Paul mentioned that something was going on in NYC.  Gosh, I don’t even think we had the internet here at the deli now that I think about it.  I changed the radio station to NPR and cranked the volume.  It was, it was just weird.  The news didn’t make any sense to me, a plane hit the trade towers, how is that possible.  Timmy got up and asked what was going on and we kinda just stood there by the speaker for what seemed like forever, listening, grieving, shocked.

The Broadway Grill down the street had a tv above the front door, I walked down there after a while and watched as the first tower fell.  Timmy had gone home to watch the news there.  I called him, and we just talked in silence.  There was a new new staffer that was starting that day and I remember telling her that it was going to be a challenging day.  I wasn't focused on training or my job.  My head was thinking about my girlfriend, she lived in D.C. and was supposed to be in lower Manhattan that day.  And while I knew she was fine, I still wanted to hear from her and you couldn’t place a call east of Philly it seemed.   

I suggested to Timmy that we close early out of respect and he agreed and we shut it down at 1pm.  I remember going home and spending the next several hours watching CNN, NBC, ABC, the internet, AOL instant messenger.  I finally heard from Laura mid afternoon, she and her family were safe, deep breath.  

Everything was now different.  I walked through campus that night, the students were all out but not partying.  They were collectively gathering and talking about what happened, what is happening.  The coming weeks just felt numb.  How can hate produce this?  How can 3,000 people suddenly be gone here?  What the hell is normal now?  I flew to California a few weeks later and when I passed security there was a kid my age in the army with the biggest gun I’ve ever seen strapped to his chest watching and holding guard.  He looked just as nervous as I was.

I’ve been to NYC a handful of times since, but never long enough to go to lower Manhattan and pay my respects.  I was there last October and finally had a the opportunity to stand there by the pools.  Those massive footprints of where a pair of giants once stood.  I was reading the names slowly, trying to memorize every one when a man said excuse me. He rubbed one name with his fingers and moved on with his day.  Was this his wife?  His mother?  His sister or best friend?  One of the most haunting things I’ve ever seen in person.  I wish him peace today.

I wish all of us peace today.  

My friends Ed and Mike performed for the September 11th concert with Uncle Neil.  This is from the song they performed.

I have wished for so long.  How I wish for you today.