May 12, 2020

Can you help me remember how to smile.  Make it somehow all seem worthwhile.

I’ve had issues with my mind most of my life.  Struggled with depression in a constant battle of my mind vs my reality.  I don’t like to talk about it, don’t like to show that I’m human?  We all have our struggles, mine are no better or worse than yours.  No bigger or smaller than another humans.  To say that closing the world didn’t jump out and kick me in the face wouldn’t be true.  It has.  Closing most of the deli has crushed me.  But that’s life on earth.  And I have struggled mentally far more than I admit.

When we opened up PHP, I felt inspired.  The gift of life is to be a part of someone else’s life.  Part of them in you, and you in them.  And my fear for strangers who were struggling like I am was overwhelming.  What will become of those less fortunate than me, what horrifying choices will they have to make?  I had to make a difference, for them, for me, for life.  So I did.  I just chose to because it’s the right thing to do.

And three days later the mail came and there were 6 envelopes addressed to me.  Six people who also cared about those less fortunate.  Then the next day there were more.  And more and more.  Guests would stop by and hand me a twenty dollar bill, a hundred dollars, a thousand dollars for PHP to help offset the cost.  Guests who believed in me and these wonderful people who work here to make a difference.  And the tears started to flow less and less.  My heart was filling the holes of despair with hope and love.  

People like Bob and Karen, Kevin and Lynne.  Kathy, Bart, Gail, Jack and Mary Lou.  Nancy, Jason and Kristen, the Sullivans, and so many more.  Families from Seattle and Chicago, Florida and Ann Arbor.  The U.P., Midland, Grand Rapids, Detroit and Lansing.  Humans from all over care about this community and the struggles of someone they will never meet.  The kindness of strangers, such inspiration. I have read every card multiple times.  I hold them when I’m scared and depressed.   I hold them for hope.  I hold them and know that you helped save me.  I wish I could tell you how important you are to me, to this town, to this world.  You are the best of us, and I adore you.  

Today’s quote comes from my friend Pete.  

When people keep repeating

That you'll never fall in love

When everybody keeps retreating

But you can't seem to get enough

Let my love open the door

Let my love open the door

Let my love open the door

To your heart