November 13, 2020
When I freak out. You can freak out.
It’s Friday the thirteenth. In 2020. Dear lord. Dear yahweh. Dear Allah. Dear anyone you pray to, please be gentle today. It’s been 12 years wrapped up into one year and I’m exhausted. We are exhausted, so please be gentle….
When I freak out, you can freak out. I say this to new staff here at the deli. A way to calm them down perhaps during their first few shifts, or that really big massive rush that terrifies them. We move fast down here. Kat moves fast. Brandy moves fast. Vince moves fast. We have a system, a comfort and mental understanding of what each other needs and when we need it. And to someone new, it just looks like chaos. So I tell them when you see me freak out, you can freak out. Until then, you got this.
I was texting with a friend who works at CMU last night in a leadership role about what’s going on this year. And they said some interesting things that I thought about most of the evening. “As leaders, we can not freak out, but on the inside we are. Nobody knows that—and that is our will and power. We know we must present steady and calm; that is what we are called to do, even though we may not be.” True story, true words, and that’s a reality. Ask any leader and they would say the same thing. How do they project confidence and manage to be terrified on the inside at the same time?
It’s hard here at the deli. You all know that. It’s hard at almost every business these days. It’s hard at CMU. I cannot even fathom the stress and difficult choices they make on an hourly basis. And I would think they cannot fathom the stress and difficult choices we make here on an hourly basis. The stress on teachers. The stress on a principal. The stress on students. I wish for your minds to be peaceful, and your actions to be strong.
“We must trust in our inner-self to guide us, just as those who we lead trust us.” -my friend at CMU.
I’m grateful that the team here trusts me. I hope they know how deeply I care for them and how they make my world better.
Today’s lyric comes from from my friend Ben.
I can make peace on earth,
with my own two hands.
And I can clean up the earth,
oh with my own two hands.
And I can reach out to you,
with my own two hands.